Why We Watch Soccer

Cross posted to Random Thoughts, Organized Chaotically

There are many reasons to take the United States versus England way too seriously, but I am not taking it WAY too seriously. I'm only taking it TOO seriously. I don't have a soccer jersey, so I'm wearing a Montana State Cup T-shirt from 1998, and my boxers featuring Snoopy and Woodstock, because who or what is more American than Snoopy and Woodstock? I'm also wearing shorts and socks, so don't get the wrong image.

It is possible to push all sorts of nationalistic implications on top of the soccer; for instance, British politicians--Tories, naturally--are criticizing President Obama for going after BP. Never mind that BP, while being so good at extracting oil, apparently never spent any time considering how to prevent oil extraction in the case something went wrong.

Or one could talk about the Revolutionary War, and how no one expected the colonies to win that either. Of course, in those days, we had help from the French, and judging by France's tie with Uruguay yesterday, the French would be no help this time around.

Or one could talk about our national inferiority complex in terms of soccer. We want to belong. I, for instance, have always tried to talk about soccer a lot so that my friends from Britain would think I am pretty cool for a Yank.

All of these options would be stupid. The reason why I write about soccer, the reason why I look forward to these games so much, is to have fun despite the many problems in the world.

(I just saw a brilliant, funny skit on ABC featuring Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, and Russell Brand, talking smack about the game. That's what I'm talking about. Faux-serious rivalry.)

Of course, all of those stupid options? They will be chosen, stupid or not.

Game on. All the pressure is on England to win. We have everything to gain.