Having A Ball

I ran out of energy last night to pick results for the next World Cup games in order, so to make up for that, and to restore the average--because sports is all about the average--I'll pick two days' worth of games today, with a little bonus of whimsical reasoning.

DAY 4: JUNE 14TH, 2010

GROUP E

HOLLAND VERSUS DENMARK

Holland chronically disappoints and comes up just short of expectations, which sounds just like what people used to say about Spain before Euro 2008. World Soccer magazine reports they may have some flaws on defense, and will need Huntelaar and Van Persie to step up the attacking polish. They swept through qualifying with little stress. Also, I like going dutch on dates.

Denmark seems to be a young team with lots of upside but limited experience. I always like watching Danish teams play, because I think they work hard. They won their qualifying group against teams like Portugal and Spain, which surprised plenty in the media. Also, one of my favorite pastries is a cheese danish.

It should be an entertaining game, but in the end, I think Holland will just have too much firepower, and will secure a 2-1 victory.

JAPAN VERSUS CAMEROON

Japan has shown the ability to play attractive football, but they will have to fight hard to avoid finishing last in this group. Cameroon has lots of experience and a world class striker in Samuel Eto'o, but may be lacking in consistency and depth, especially in offense.

I say Cameroon is just too strong for Japan and musters a 1-0 win, but I could see a draw if Cameroon slips up on defense and concedes a goal. I just lack the yen to certify that feeling as a prediction.

GROUP F

ITALY VERSUS PARAGUAY

The defending world champions against the third placed qualifier from South America. Paraguay has a reputation of being well-organized on defense, but they only scored 24 goals in qualifying, and have only scored 10 goals in 11 games at their last three finals. On paper it looks easy to pick Italy to win.

But Italy is aging. They do have some promising young stars like Giuseppi Rossi, but they may struggle in their first game. They had a very dismal performance in last summer's Confederations Cup (you know, the tournament where the US beat Spain).

Vaughn was telling me yesterday that he thinks I was excessively pessimistic about the score line for the US versus England, and that he thinks that when I hope for a certain result with my heart, my heart also makes my brain overcompensate in the other direction. The same thought could apply to my prediction of a 0-0 draw, but I don't have attachment to Italy's success. Infamous problems with gambling and racism have watered down my taste for the soccer from my mother's birth nation.

DAY 5: JUNE 15TH, 2010

GROUP F

NEW ZEALAND VERSUS SLOVAKIA

Let's face it. If Australia were still qualifying for the World Cup through Oceania rather than the Asian qualifiers, New Zealand wouldn't be here. Nevertheless, this is their best chance to pick up points in a group that also features Italy and Paraguay.

Slovakia is making their World Cup debut, and are considered to lack depth and experience. Nevertheless, they did win their qualifying group, and I see a 2-0 victory in their future.

GROUP G

BRAZIL VERSUS NORTH KOREA

North Korea upset Italy in 1966, but that was then. The country is still very secretive, but in this age of the Internet, there is no way they have a secret superstar that could help them get a result against Brazil.

Brazil thumps North Korea 4-0, a score inflated as much by Brazil's talent as it is by my bewilderment about Kim Jong-Il's hair and, oh, yeah, his oppressive regime.

IVORY COAST VERSUS PORTUGAL

A match that pits two temperamental stars in Didier Drogba and Cristiano Ronaldo. A lot of talent on both sides in an important match to decide who goes through behind Brazil. Because I really, really want Portugal to fail again due to their proclivities for dissent and whining, I say Ivory Coast wins an exciting 3-2 matchup.